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[27 Nov 2009|01:34am] |
I guess the time where everyone's uptight and hurrying is here once again.
Please please, let this time be a good one with good productive outcomes.
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[27 Nov 2009|12:10am] |
LOL
Black Widow. says:
*But she said she was the rebel!
Jonathan says:
*EH NO
*SHE SAID HER BROTHER WAS THE REBEL
*We shall ask on Friday.
Black Widow. says:
*SHE TOLD US THIS PAST MONDAY SHE NEVERRRR LISTENED TO HER MOTHER.
Jonathan says:
*I challenge you
*To a pokemon battle
Black Widow. says:
*Deal.
Black Widow. says:
*-sings- I'm not gonna Raichu, a love song
*HAHAHAHA
I'M SO NOT AS ANNOYING AS YOU LOL.
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[21 Nov 2009|11:22pm] |
My parents are so cute lol.
I came home thinking that i would be eating frozen sandwiches, and then i found KFC saying "Today we were junkies, so we ordered junk food, and knowing we have a junkie boy, we ordered more."
=.='
& thanks Marc.
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[16 Nov 2009|08:55pm] |
I saw this funny examination answers.
Opposites
1. Death - Live
2. Pro- - Noob <---- HAHAHA.
3. Hopeless - Hopeful
4. Tolerance - Intolerance
5. Careful - Careless
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[09 Nov 2009|08:00pm] |
That's because when you're up high,
all the stuff that looks confusing and messed up,
..suddenly becomes crystal clear.
Yes i do think he did love Senna.
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[08 Nov 2009|07:11pm] |
in life, we're all the encouraged, and the encourager.
Let's not leave good words unspoken in our mouths.
Today was a good and tiring day, i slept so little, but learnt something new and did something fun.
I don't see a point if you're gonna do something and do it unwillingly. Yea you're tired, and you're lazy, but sometimes what's been given to us is meant to be finished rather than taking the easy way out. Think Sabrina did a way better job.
Relationships comes and goes, but brotherhood stays and grows - Sergeant Pang.
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| life, and life more abundantly. |
[08 Nov 2009|01:06am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 quixotic |
] |
You know when i was young, in secondary one, everyone was talking about mp3's and how awesome they were. I begged and begged my dad to get me one, no matter what shit brand it was, so that i could be the first in class to have one. I even told him i'd pay him by installments, just to be able to get it. I went to school with it, feeling so glorious. My friends, told me that it was only okay, and that my choices for songs were lousy. I didn't give a shit, know why? Cos it's mine. But after that, i sat down, and thought through what they said. You put it this way, life is around people, without people, you're nothing.
If you didn't care/aren't affected about what people thought of you, you're pretty much nothing. Then i thought about how pathetic life would be without great friends, without even people around you who supported you, and you know would do anything for you even if you left them. I sit down, and i think through. If i did the most foolish thing in the world, would my friends actually come through for me, support my decisions? You somehow or rather watch in movies/tv serials that best friends tell each other "no matter what decision you make, i'll be there for you" and you don't really see it in action nowadays.
Yea you know there're some people you really trust with your life, and there're some people you just wanna run away from. But it really goes to show how much you sacrifice for people, and how much they're willing to sacrifice for you. And you should think, if they were ever taken away from you, what would you end up like? Sometimes i get really jealous when my good friends are with others. All i want to do, is drag them away and have them all to myself. Yes i'm selfish, i want all their time. Sometimes it pains me to see them in the company of others, having fun, when i myself, am having such a hard time in school, and have nobody else to have fun with.
True enough, i enjoy solitude. One of the gifts in life is the gift of solitude, where all you can do, is nothing. But times that i used to enjoy, the times where i used to look forward to, are kind of gone. They've disappeared, and i no longer find joy in it anymore. Rather, focuses have changed, priorities have shifted. Where am i now?
Yes, back to that mp3 player. I've been using it the past few days and my best friends are Bee Gees, S Club 7, VengaBoys and A-Teens. They've got awesome songs, awesome old songs that i haven't heard for years, literally. I really enjoy listening to old songs, they've all got that golden touch that new songs somehow don't have. I don't like just listening to songs with great tune, but with good tune AND meaning in them. They've got a lot more emotions in them rather than mainstream ones. If you actually have read my older posts, sometimes i talk about different things in life through their songs, how what means what.
There're so many things that i feel sorry about in life. Some of them include wasting my parents' money. There're some guilty points in my life where i keep remembering:
1) When my mum bought food for me, and i slept till morning and she threw it away.
Sure, it's just a small amount of money, but the pain i felt that she wasted that little bit of $2.50 when i slept through it really hurt my heart. I don't know why. It's just one of the events in my life which scarred me, haha. I told her about it and she called me a crazy nut. I mean, seriously, it might not bother you people much, but sometimes there're the little things that your parents might've done for you, that makes you feel so touched by it, and when you realized they threw it away because you weren't there to receive it, really pains you, no? Well for me it did.
2) When my dad promised to buy me whatever tamiya car parts i wanted when i did well for my exams.
I did do well, and he did buy whatever i wanted. I spent over $100 of his money on one day buying silly parts at what i thought was fun back then. Watching cars go buy, and getting parts to make them faster and faster. (Yes i still have my cars, mega sexy) After that phase was over, i looked back at my cars and thought, why oh why did i waste my father's money on these cars. Worse part they're so expensive just for small little metal/plastic items. Well yes, they're small amounts of money, but it's something that really hit my heart.
Sometimes, it might seem that every little bit of money means a lot to me, but it's also because i want to look forward in life. I don't want to just work, and spend all my money. I want to work, contribute to my household, and someday get somewhere in life. Do well, get into a university, get a scholarship, go abroad maybe. The message in cg/service was totally for me two weeks ago i think. Where it talked about what i wanted for my life, doesn't mean it is meant for my life. So my life, which i had planned out for myself, now turns void, because my mind, which was so firm, has now melted into an acid pond and i will now be thinking again about what i want.
You put it this way, i'm back at square one.
It´s over and done,
But the heartache lives on inside.
And who is the one you´re clinging to,
Instead of me tonight.
I´m there at your side,
A part of all the things you are.
But you have a part of someone else,
You gotta go find your shinning star.
And where are you now,
Now that I need you.
Tears on my pillow,
Where ever you go.
I´ll cry me a river,
That´s leads to your ocean.
You´ll never see me fall apart.
In the words of a broken heart,
It´s just emotion that's taking me over.
Tied up in sorrow, lost in my song.
But if you don´t come back,
Come home to me darling.
You'll know that they'll be nobody left in this world to hold me tight,
Nobody left in this world to kiss goodnight.
We're singing this on the 18th of November, Orchard Point, Starbucks, come support our cheer party! :)
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[05 Nov 2009|01:59am] |
I was always told never to assume, because assumption is the lowest form of knowledge.
But somehow every human being tend to assume.
So do i, thus i am a human being.
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[03 Nov 2009|01:27am] |
everyone knows where their boundaries are.
but where's mine.
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[01 Nov 2009|12:16am] |
Many things will still remain the same no matter how hard you try.
Not only that,
Many things will also change no matter how hard to wish they wouldn't.
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| HILARIOUS |
[28 Oct 2009|04:26pm] |
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mood |
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 hyper |
] |
HILARIOUS
HILARIOUS
HILARIOUS
HILARIOUS
HILARIOUS
HILARIOUS
I LAUGHED TO MYSELF FOR 15 MINS.
It's been so long since i've actually laughed out all by myself.
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[25 Oct 2009|05:13am] |
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Sometimes you just need to ask around, because maybe the better perspective is from someone else and not you.
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[23 Oct 2009|05:38pm] |
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mood |
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 tired |
] |
I am so tired.
Like dead beat, having so little sleep the past few days.
I'm gonna rest more during the weekend.
Tired people change the world?
What about people who're tired after doing the wrong things?
Do they still change the world?
Pretty much, they do. Just that they don't make a big difference because everyone else works against them.
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| heartfelt |
[21 Oct 2009|05:28am] |
| [ |
mood |
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amused |
] |
Got this from someone on FB.
"Sometimes, you do the utmost silliest thing on earth and others may say you. But at the end of it all, you realize you did so because your heart told you to."And that's all you need to know it's right.
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[19 Oct 2009|01:42am] |
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mood |
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mellow |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Scorpion - Wind Of Change |
] |
Another journey begins.
It's time to start your engines running, taking your dreams to a higher level.
And that's not the tough part, because the tough part,
is always, always, to continue burning your coals, and to run along with your dreams.
Motivation drops down, but it's really up to you to get it moving. I hope in time to come, i'll read this again and in time, spur me on.
" This is the song about love, talking to the person you haven't even met yet. And, maybe they're rolling around in the hay with someone else but, they're not as good as you'll be. You just gotta wait your turn. She's out there, he's out there. They're just learning what the contrast with you will get." - John Mayer
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[16 Oct 2009|02:33am] |
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mood |
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impressed |
] |
This is hilarious, if you don't get it, *hits*
Now you should.
They kill, every single one of them. And they hurt, but oh how we still pursue for them.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
That's a heart out to you, you and the rest of the world.
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| Humans |
[14 Oct 2009|01:54am] |
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mood |
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 thoughtful |
] |
You never know them till you actually experience the very worst of them.
How do you know a person thoroughly? See them at their worst state, and see how they react.
You never know how someone is like if you see the best of them. Humans tend to actually show their own true feelings when they're feeling the lousiest, the most hopeless, the crappiest and when they're at the very verge of themselves. You can't judge how you know a person just by looking at how they treat their friends, or how they treat those above them. But all you need to see, is how they treat those that are under them. No, humility doesn't come from respecting those above you, but it comes when you learn to even respect those who listen to you.
If i remember correctly, the time where i was the angriest, was the time i was wrongly judged. I, who did not do anything. I, who was just innocently being there. I, got charged for something i didn't do, punished severely for something i wish i should've done. After that, i went to find the culprit who made me the scapegoat, and that guy never had a nice face (ok i choose to think it that way, makes me happier :P) but okay fine i think he wasn't badly hurt. I was young.
Other than that, i deserved every punishment i got. I was naughty (now an angel, wahaha), impatient, ignorant, disruptive, prone to fights, but through it all, i'm really glad to say i'm blessed with such great teachers, and fellow friends. Truly, i've never seen 2 teachers continue trying to help me even though they've seen the worst of me, and still want to lend a helping hand. Mrs Chek, and Ms Sng. You know, even i wanted to give up on myself. But they just saw me through it, kept talking to me, and ultimately, i think i have changed.
But then again, there're times where i wish, life wasn't just as simple as changing. Many decisions come with consequences. Sometimes, consequences that stay with you all the way. How hard it is, to actually learn to treat people with respect, even though you know deep down, they don't like you at all, and that you suspect every move they make is one that is against you instead of for you.
Now it comes to the part where i struggle with. How difficult it is, to treat people whom treat you like dirt well. How tough it is, when you have to smile at those who spite you in the face. How irritating it is, to do things for those who just show you a look of disgust everytime they look at you. But when you've seen them at their worst, it's all but their own nature. However, even when they're at their worst, the motive under all that should be the one that we all look out for.
People might have the same motive, but different methods of carrying out the plans. Methods may hurt, but if the intention and the final outcome match, and it's all for good, maybe the methods have made you stronger. Because whatever can't kill you, makes you stronger. I've always felt people who irritated me and made my blood boil were just hurdles put in front of me, to make me a better, more understanding, and easier to get a long with.
However, i realised my attitude towards them changed over time. I used to just leave it at that, and then just continue with what i do. Nowadays, i've become more, bitchy? Is that the word? It probably is. I talk too much, and i must sometimes learn to keep my mouth shut, to just do as i was told, to learn how to be humble and obedient, rather than express and be reckless. Maturity doesn't come from being friendly with everyone and getting your way because you think you're right. Maturity comes from knowing your mistakes, learning from them despite the shame.
You know how people mock those who get embarrassed not by their own pride? In fact, they admire him, they applaud him deep down under, because only he had the courage to stand up, to look at all of them in the eye, and say, "I fell, but i've learnt."
Learn humility, it's the best quality anyone can ever have.
Then again, remember, humility =/= vulnerability
Side note:
Can't wait for tomorrow to come, and i can't wait till i start school. Like seriously, and then when i start school, i'll be like, i can't wait till the holidays start.
Damned vicious cycle.
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| ponder this. |
[14 Oct 2009|01:29am] |
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mood |
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 cynical |
] |
Life can only get you right back where you never wanted yourself to be.
Hm, perhaps i just need some time by myself again, it's been ages.
Then again, it'll probably be better tomorrow.
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[13 Oct 2009|02:59am] |
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mood |
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pleased |
] |
Something from HuaHui's blog which i found so true:
They've no obligations;
to conceive us. (strictly speaking, mothers)
They've no obligations;
to provide for our material needs.
They've no obligations;
to put up with our temper.
They've no obligations;
to deal with the disappointments we brought.
They've no obligations;
to disciple us.
But, they still provide for our material needs.
But, they still put up with our temper.
But, they still deal with the disappointments we brought.
But, they still disciple us.
But, they still do.
(this part's mine)
After what they've done,
We're obligated;
to love them.
We're obligated;
to treat them well.
We're obligated;
to look after them.
We're obligated;
to learn from them.
But, we shout back at them.
But, we mistreat them.
But, we ignore their advice.
But, we disobey them.
Values determine our ethics. It determines what's right or wrong in our lives. Without the right values, what is "right"? Our general right is what's defined by our society, what's set out by everyone that's around us. Imagine if you wiped everyone's memory and knowledge of life, and taught them that jumping around to move instead of walking was right, soon we'd have a world of kangaroos. Or how about another example. If you taught them that stealing was right, nobody would know where their belongings went. Or rather, i don't even think people who know what is the meaning of owning something.
So define your values. We all need a set of values. It's what defines our character. So imagine a group of people, all with the same set of values, ones that do good instead of evil, that cheer people, than hurt people. What a world it would be.
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| Friends |
[11 Oct 2009|03:15am] |
| [ |
mood |
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quixotic |
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Today PengBoon shared something that really touched my heart.
So much for me always thinking about unity. It's really not about the unity of the CG or ministry, it's not about the happiness that is faked when you're together. It's all about friendship, yes it's so true. No one's gonna work together with each other if there's no friendship. I think i'm gonna start not disliking people and actually trying to find something nice about them to like. But it's so hard omg i tried today and totally failed. I've finally opened my eyes to this. Who in the world are you gonna have unity with when you don't even first have a friendship with them? With all the gossiping and all the behind-the-back talks, nobody's gonna have unity when we actually serve together. Why gain an extra enemy when you can get another friend? There's only 4 billion people in the world.
I once understood something that actually made me believe that true love exists. It's not you who can judge your own decisions. It's so difficult to know whether your decisions are right or wrong unless your consequence is definitely wrong. But the only people who can tell if you're making a right or wrong decision are the ones beside you when you're in a difficult position making them. But the only people who'll be beside you are only your closest friends. I don't ever believe, even for one second that you can look at the big picture of yourself when you're yourself. Your mind might think something, but your heart might believe something differently.
You can only accomplish something and feel satisfied to the brim when your heart and mind has done it in cooperation.
( Love, and life )
Kinda reminds me of the sitcom F.R.I.E.N.D.S. I really do feel like watching it again, but it's gonna be so draggy and i'll lose sleep again. There was something Kiat told me before about sleep, that is when you've lost it, you'll never gain it back again. I guess that's why i'm so tired everytime. I really do have to take 2 days off and sleep all the way before i can actually get back to tip top shape. I don't understand why even after 9 hours of sleep i can almost doze off in service sitting in the first row right next to a pastor.
Somehow i really liked working with Kiat, and everytime i see him, i just feel a sense of joy. You know there's a tattoo on his forearm, near his wrist. Which is the picture form of his death date (The one where the blind use to read it) and i asked him, why did he get it. His response? "It's not because i'm sadistic or what, but it's to remind me, to do the best i can, the most good i can, to the best of my abilities and to do the most out of this remaining time i've got." I admire people who can face up to reality and actually take it in their stride, go on with life, looking forward to the many wonderful things that they'll have in future, and even if it was bad, there'd always be new things. However, when you get hit, you don't keep it in to destroy yourself, but you let it out, you cry it out, you release it out, and then continue because you know there's so much you don't wanna give up.
Even where family ties are not strong enough, people who're meant to love you, and loved in return are at such a distance, and friendship ties are not strengthened by trust and love, and when there's only so little left for you to live for, you press on, you might let the woes of life get entangled with your other friendships and you bitch a lot and get irritated easily, but come on, who doesn't? You probably just need to kill off some people in order to let them understand what you're going through. Even through that, you know that the future's worth living for, and maybe, even maybe there'll be a better life out there soon, just so soon, that you can just touch it with the tip of your fingers, but not grab it because it's not the time yet.
Live, love & laugh. Just while we all can.
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